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Funny Quotes 2Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal.
-- Demetri Martin
"My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil."
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"
"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific."
"If you can't fix it with duct tape you havent used enough."
"All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."
"Constipated People Don't Give A crap."
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."
"There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't"
"Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."
"Life is what happens to yo
Can Christians Like Dragons?HEADS UP!!! The Biblical half of this version of the article is relatively outdated as of 02/11/2016, so please follow the below link to read the revised and expanded edition! Thank you!!!
In other words, can a Christian morally have a love for dragons? The logic behind the question is that dragons by Biblical standards seem to be evil creatures. Therefore it should be incompatible to follow Jesus Christ and love dragons at the same time, right? This is what I've been accused of many times, being a firm holder to Truth yet having a soft spot for dragons. I would like to answer in detail these accusations, thus the reason for this article.
Let us look at dragons from every angle, starting with what The Sacred Scriptures say. In The Holy Bible the Hebrew word used for dragon(s) is 'tanniyn' and shows up 29 times in The Old Testament. But, do note t
a year in the rearview mirrorDear Past Me,
A couple of months from March, you will forget about this book. You only ever wanted to fill it because your sister gave it to you, anyway. One day you will realize that maybe she never treated you right. That’s not really her fault, but you won’t be able to look her in the eyes for the longest time. You still can’t, not really. You’ve started trying to rebuild bridges that you burnt down between you and her, but it’s hard to create when all you have is a box of matches.
You don’t win your poetry competition—you will tell everyone that you knew you had no chance, but you and I both know you’ve seen too many movies to not have wanted the basketball to go through the hoop from the middle of the court with a second left to spare. You will not keep in touch with anyone from the competition. You will say that you do, but you don’t. That’s okay. You’re okay.
You’re more than okay. You’re loved. I know
Haiku Theory Part 1 -2009-A Lot of Words About A Little Poem
An Introduction to Haiku Structures
A haiku poem cannot be defined according to the number of syllables and lines it contains (nor by the number of syllables in each line). Although I do not wish to go into the reasons why at this point (I will save that for a later discussion) the form of modern English haiku, as Haruo Shirane writes, is a short poem, usually written in one to three lines. (in Gilbert, 2009) At this point our definition sounds very vague. If the number of syllables and lines do not define a haiku poem, then what does? And if a haiku poem is simply a short one, two or three-line poem then what separates it from other forms of Western short-verse or, in the case of one-line haiku, a sentence?
Patricia Donegan writes, in agreement with the Western haiku community at large, that syllable counting... is not the important thing for haiku in English. Haiku is an experience, not an act of co
Brushing Up Against HistoryNovember 1963
I'm eight years old and sitting in class (I strangely recall that my seat was in the middle of second row, on the side away from the window), when the principal comes in to tell us that the president has been shot.
I do not know
what it means, but I know
that it scares me.
My mother meets Senator Robert F. Kennedy while he is campaigning in San Francisco and gets his autograph. I live with my father in a small town in Michigan, where every year leading up to Memorial Day, I sell paper poppies for the VFW.
blood of soldiers on the field
war has come home
I watch the news and see the body count, arranged like a scorecard. The numbers say we are winning, but one of those numbers is from our town, the only casualty that week. I don't know him, but I see his picture on the cover of Life Magazine.
I turn 17 the next month
and try to join the Marine Corp
my father will not sign
As a small-town b
The Bible Says God Doesn't Exist (Really!)
Many Christians wonder how anyone could doubt the existence of God, but it turns out it's right in the bible. If you read between the lines, it tells you there's no God
1) The bible claims that God sacrificed Jesus for our sins. (John 3:16, Romans 3:25, Ephesians 5:2, Hebrews 9:26) (This is ignoring Deuteronomy 24:16 and Ezekiel 18:20, which state that everyone is to be responsible for their own transgressions without anyone else dying for their sins, thus undermining the primary basis of Christianity.)
2) Since Jesus is God (2 Peter 1:1, John 10:30-33, and other verses), premise 1 means that God sacrificed himself.
3) A sacrifice involves the destruction of the entire being, including the spirit. This seems intuitively obvious especially for a self-sacrifice, since it's not much of a sacrifice if the martyr is guaranteed an eternity in heaven.
Essay: Why God CAN'T create meaning
Many religious apologetics claim that without God, nihilism necessarily follows. The counterpoint has been made many times that even if the universe is meaningless or unpalatable without God, that doesn't make God any more likely to exist. If you decide that a world in which you're no seven feet tall is unacceptable to you, that won't make you any taller. However, nobody seems to have questioned the assumption that God's existence would impart meaning.
After listening to lectures from religious believers and talking to them online, I've noticed that they tend to view their God the same way a toddler views a father figure. Daddy is infinitely strong. Daddy knows everything, and he is always right. If Daddy says it's good, it's good. Pointing out flaws and inefficiencies in God's alleged work, and the moral and logical errors in God's alleged plan, seldom phases a believer, just like a toddler can never b
Essay: Why Creating Jobs is the Wrong Goal
We're all job creators
I recently saw a clip of Peter Schiff interviewing an Occupy Wall Street protester. Schiff asked him how many jobs he creates, and unfortunately, the protester wasn't prepared for this question. (Although it was being filmed by Drew Carey's libertarian group called Reason TV, so if anybody did raise good points against him, we'd never see it anyway.)
Contrary to Schiff's shortsighted view of the economy, common people do create jobs. We hire orthodontists, doctors, lawyers, mechanics, plumbers, electricians, HVAC technicians, exterminators, and many other professionals. Their careers directly depend on enough working class people being able to afford to hire them.
Less directly but just as importantly, we hire businesses (and the factories and transportation companies which supply those businesses) whenever we patronize them. If they lose consumer demand (like they would if their
Talking to Myself: A Manifesto for the EgocentricI’ve been told I talk to myself when I think no one is listening.
ME: That’s all writing is.
ME: Inner monologues.
ME: Discussions with the self.
ME: I’ve written several novels worth of words to tell myself how selfish I am, or that I’ve fallen in love with the wrong person again, or that dying was never a viable option in the first place. I write to tell readers the same thing.
ME: My words are meant to teach others what I couldn’t teach myself. To save others just like writing has saved me thousands of times.
People say that art and beauty only come to life when there’s an audience.
ADAM GWON (sung): For beautiful to happen, the beautiful has got to be seen.
ME: That’s Adam Gwon. He shows up here, sometimes. He is often wrong.
ADAM GWON: Hey! No I’m n—
ME: For example, I disagree with this line from a song he wrote, called “Beautiful”. Art exists and fulfills a need before it is even seen or read or hear